The Unknown (in progress)
Yesterday I dove into a new concept. Humor me while I try to explain because I'm still trying to fully understand it myself.
I have a tendency to worry. A lot. "Fear of The Unknown." And since I have been blessed with a pretty vivid imagination I can work myself up to Olympic Obsessing in no time! So my new concept or method is to think of the blank canvas as The Unknown. Many an artist has faced that blank canvas, fearfully thinking 'I can't do it. This time they will find out I really don't know what I am doing.' Even for those who don't FEAR it, at the very least, the blank canvas can be intimidating.
I have faced the blank canvas many times. And each and every time, I have those fearful thoughts. But I begin. I paint something. I do something.
Yesterday, I set out to paint a piece in the same way I would like to face my fears. Here is how I painted and how it mirrors my life:
I sat with my blank white board and I thought of it like the future. Nothing scary, just the future. I did a little outline sketch of a tree to give it a little structure, perhaps my daily routine. Something predictable. Something I know will happen. The outline. No detailed bark or branches. Like life, I didn't know those details.
Then it was time to fill in the body of the outline. Here is the new twist for me. I closed my eyes and reached into my box of paint tubes. I grabbed a color for the tree. I filled in the tree with my random color, ultramarine blue. The same with the foreground, the background, until the surface was entirely covered.
This is how life goes, right? We don't know what colors/events we will be experience. We have some choices to make but most of the events are unknowable and we have to make the best of what comes our way.
So, on and on, I painted like I live. Layering the colors. Making choices. Making the best of it. Going with the flow. I didn't let worry come along. I didn't worry about the colors I blindly chose. I just painted.
For the most part, I like the way the painting turned out (see above). And I like the way I thought about the future. When I grabbed a color like red oxide, a color I rarely use, I went with it. It found a place in my day. I delighted when I grabbed one of my favorite colors, quinacridone violet. It was like a unexpected visit from an old friend.
My experiment with facing the future, fearing the unknown, and painting the unknown was filled with insights....more to be discovered as I study the painting. It was a good day.
Maybe tomorrow I will get back to the Burr Oaks that are calling me!